“There was no God. Only Amelia Bedelia.”
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The out of context quotes thread
- Thread starter Midoriya
- Start date
I’m happy to answer any questions you have about the alien. Any questions at all. Dr. Hibbert?
Is the alien carbon-based or silicon-based?
Uh… the second one. Zilliphone. Next question.
Is the alien Santa Claus?
Uh… yes.
Were you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane?
This interview is over! *slams door*
Is the alien carbon-based or silicon-based?
Uh… the second one. Zilliphone. Next question.
Is the alien Santa Claus?
Uh… yes.
Were you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane?
This interview is over! *slams door*
"Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center roll of a tootsie pop?"
"Well, let's find out. A one, a two, a three--" *accidentally eats it*
"How many licks does it take to get to the center roll of a tootsie pop? The world may never know. The world WILL never know. I'll make sure the world never knows! MuahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" *the announcer's laughter quickly descends into maniacal laughter*
"Well, let's find out. A one, a two, a three--" *accidentally eats it*
"How many licks does it take to get to the center roll of a tootsie pop? The world may never know. The world WILL never know. I'll make sure the world never knows! MuahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" *the announcer's laughter quickly descends into maniacal laughter*
*Woman wearing a dress literally made of rags and dust balls that is messily sewn together *
“Okay, if I’m being completely honest….”
“Oh sure, start now.”
“Well it’s made of rags and bags and chunks of dust.”
“Yeah. We’re working on a budget of zero dollars.”
“Also, we’re mice. It’s a miracle we made anything!”
“Okay, if I’m being completely honest….”
“Oh sure, start now.”
“Well it’s made of rags and bags and chunks of dust.”
“Yeah. We’re working on a budget of zero dollars.”
“Also, we’re mice. It’s a miracle we made anything!”
I must warn you, Mr. Garrison, that there are risks. You could wind up a hideous, foul shadow of a creature, so terrifyingly ugly that you’re forced to live in the sewers, only emerging at night for scraps of food.
…I can live with that.
Alrighty, then, let’s get started!
…I can live with that.
Alrighty, then, let’s get started!
QueenCobra
Baby, you can’t read Roald Dahl
“You’re so profoundly sad.”
“No, it’s just my people are Nordic.”
“No, it’s just my people are Nordic.”
"And the title of today's Honkai: Star Rail episode IS, Gepard went gambling and lost all his money (and his life)!"
"What??? What happened to the captain?!?"
"Ya see, boss, I don't know how to tell you this, but... he got impaled by a giant coin."
"WHAT?!?" *crying* "HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!? A COIN DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY SHARP SIDES TO IT!"
"Yeah.... sorry, boss."
"And that's the end of our show!"
"What??? What happened to the captain?!?"
"Ya see, boss, I don't know how to tell you this, but... he got impaled by a giant coin."
"WHAT?!?" *crying* "HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!? A COIN DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY SHARP SIDES TO IT!"
"Yeah.... sorry, boss."
"And that's the end of our show!"
"D-dad, do you hear something?"
"No, Rusty, do-- who the heck is there?!?"
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
*King Ramses is outside their door ominously staring at them*
*Early takes his signature gun and goes outside*
"Who the heck are you?!"
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
"I ain't got no slab here, pal, so you best be leaving..."
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
"How about I return this BULLET into your FACE?"
"You tell them, dad!"
"LOOK, IT'S COMMON COURTESY AND YOU'D BE A GOOD SAMARITAN IF YOU RETURNED IT... BUT IF YOU DON'T, YOU WILL BE VISITED BY THREE PLAGUES...."
"And YOU will be visited by three BULLETS to your FACE!"
"Haha, good one, dad!"
"Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?"
*All of a sudden Van Halen comes down from a helicopter in the sky*
"I want the slab and I want it NOW. GIVE IT TO ME!"
"I already told you folks, there ain't no slab here... so you best be leaving...."
*The bird from that one episode shows up out of nowhere*
"You guys lookin' for a slab?"
*All of a sudden he reaches into his body and pulls out what appears to be the slab*
"Cause I have the slab now!"
*The bird hijacks Van Halen's helicopter as "C'mon Everybody" by Shawn Coleman plays on its stereos and he flies away*
"I WILL have that slab!"
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
*Van Halen, King Ramses, and all the other Squidbillies characters chase the helicopter with the bird in it*
"Was someone lookin' for a lab????"
"Nah, not any of us. Go back to bed, granny."
"Ohhhh...."
"No, Rusty, do-- who the heck is there?!?"
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
*King Ramses is outside their door ominously staring at them*
*Early takes his signature gun and goes outside*
"Who the heck are you?!"
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
"I ain't got no slab here, pal, so you best be leaving..."
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
"How about I return this BULLET into your FACE?"
"You tell them, dad!"
"LOOK, IT'S COMMON COURTESY AND YOU'D BE A GOOD SAMARITAN IF YOU RETURNED IT... BUT IF YOU DON'T, YOU WILL BE VISITED BY THREE PLAGUES...."
"And YOU will be visited by three BULLETS to your FACE!"
"Haha, good one, dad!"
"Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?"
*All of a sudden Van Halen comes down from a helicopter in the sky*
"I want the slab and I want it NOW. GIVE IT TO ME!"
"I already told you folks, there ain't no slab here... so you best be leaving...."
*The bird from that one episode shows up out of nowhere*
"You guys lookin' for a slab?"
*All of a sudden he reaches into his body and pulls out what appears to be the slab*
"Cause I have the slab now!"
*The bird hijacks Van Halen's helicopter as "C'mon Everybody" by Shawn Coleman plays on its stereos and he flies away*
"I WILL have that slab!"
"RETURN THE SLAB...."
*Van Halen, King Ramses, and all the other Squidbillies characters chase the helicopter with the bird in it*
"Was someone lookin' for a lab????"
"Nah, not any of us. Go back to bed, granny."
"Ohhhh...."
rocketspruggs
Green slime is a mean crime.
"Mom and dadgummit." - A made-up quote I randomly thought of in the back of my head.
“Lambchop! Thank goodness you’re alright!”
“Alright?! Speak for yourself! I was practically strangled by a leopard thong bikini!”
*Niles pulls out said bikini*
“Oh sorry about that.”
*Niles exits the kitchen clutching the bikini*
“Alright?! Speak for yourself! I was practically strangled by a leopard thong bikini!”
*Niles pulls out said bikini*
“Oh sorry about that.”
*Niles exits the kitchen clutching the bikini*
Can I tell you something, Ms. Ellen?
Of course, Wendy.
Don’t *bleep* with me!
What?
You heard me! Stay away from my man, *****, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho-ass back to last year!
(Ms. Ellen is in shock)
…bye, Ms. Ellen!
Of course, Wendy.
Don’t *bleep* with me!
What?
You heard me! Stay away from my man, *****, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho-ass back to last year!
(Ms. Ellen is in shock)
…bye, Ms. Ellen!
“These beer googles make everything look great! Even my date looks hot!”
“Oh yeah? Well your ‘hot’ date isn’t looking so hot now.”
*Charred skeletal remains of a woman in a dress and heels is next to Drinky Crow*
“Oh yeah? Well your ‘hot’ date isn’t looking so hot now.”
*Charred skeletal remains of a woman in a dress and heels is next to Drinky Crow*
QueenCobra
Baby, you can’t read Roald Dahl
"Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them."
"And I just wish, I could have had more time..."
*as he dies his middle finger starts pointing up*
"Erm, hey, what does that mean?"
"In my native language, it means, **** you."
"Uh.... yeah. Thanks, Drax."
*Drax grins a bit* "You're welcome."
*as he dies his middle finger starts pointing up*
"Erm, hey, what does that mean?"
"In my native language, it means, **** you."
"Uh.... yeah. Thanks, Drax."
*Drax grins a bit* "You're welcome."
