The out of context quotes thread

"Seven rings in hand, we summoned a biiiig fat, jolly fat man."
"Seven rings in hand, we summoned a biiiig fat, jolly fat man."

"What, you mean Santa?"
"No, I mean *insert unnamed ancient genie here*."
 
Random nerd: "So when people die in your world, do they get isekai'd back into the real world, or are they just dead forever?"
Naofumi: "Why are you asking me this?"
Random nerd: "I just wanna know, bro."
 
"Too much stuff, not enough space
too much STUFF, not enough SPACE
do you have emotional baggage like me and don't know what to do with it?
get the emotional space bag!
with this, you just suck the air out of it, shrink it down, and stuff it in a bag
then you can fit those bags in a closet, and deal with that emotional baggage later in life
now for only 2 easy payments of $19.99 (plus shipping and handling)!!!"
 
"Good news guys, we are six minutes AHEAD of schedule! Someone must really like us!"
*rock music plays*
"Bad news guys, we are six minutes BEHIND schedule! Someone must really hate us!"
 
Some quotes I made while conversing with my father:

"Plastic surgery is expensive, just accept the fact that you're ugly."
"Why don't they host spelling bees anymore? I'd be one of the best."

You can tell I like this thread from the amount of times I post here.
 
"Yuck! What could be worse than gettin' stuck in a pile of blacktop?"
"Maybe getting crushed by a giant steam-roller thingy."
"You sure have an active imagination."
"No, I don't. Look!"
"Oh, NO! We're gonna get STEAM-ROLLER THINGIED to death!"
 
"Kids have crushes, men have girlfriends, legends have vocal percussion on a whole 'nother level coming from their mind."
 
*Leonardo DiCaprio looks around the room*
"We... we really did fart, didn't we? I mean, when you think about it..."
*comet hits the Earth and the Earth is destroyed*
 
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